Wicked Star Wars Fict
by Anne Zwarts
Summary: everybody argues with George Lucas, it seems.... but not only with George...
1. Wicked Star Wars Fic Part One

Title: Wicked Star Wars fic part 1 

_Summary: _Qui-Gon gets a row with George Lucas…__

_Rating:_ G

_Disclaimer:_ none of this really belongs to me, it's all George Lucas' (except for the other persons mentioned, who do _all_ really exsist…)

_Author: _Anne Zwarts__

**Obi-Wan: **I've got a bad feeling about this.

**Qui-Gon:** I don't sense anything unusual.

**Obi-Wan: **It's not about this mission master, it's something elsewhere, illusive...

**Qui-Gon:** Don't centre on your anxieties Obi-Wan. Keep your concentration here and now where they belong.

**Obi-Wan: **But master Yoda said, that...

**Qui-Gon: **I don't care what Yoda said! Yoda is just an old guy who thinks he's sóóó great... with his almost 20.000 midi-chlorians, but Anakin has more!!! If I say to you, (Qui-Gon almost stands on Obi-Wan's toes, and his nose is touching Obi-Wan's) that you have to keep your concentration here and now you MUST do that, do you understand???? I am a boxing champion and I am...

**George Lucas: **CUT!!! CUT!!!

**Qui-Gon: **What? 

**George Lucas: **I said CUT!!! CUT!!!, that means you have to cut....

**Qui-Gon: **Why???

**George Lucas: **Because of your behaviour! 

**Qui-Gon: **MY behaviour??? What's wrong with that? Ewan began to speak about Yoda. Who IS Yoda??? Isn't it that old, little guy from Episode V ????? What do I have to deal with him???

**George Lucas:** HERE! Read the script! If you once, just only once say something that is NOT in the script, you're fired!!! Do you understand??!

**Qui-Gon:** Well......

**George Lucas:** Do you understand???!!

**Qui-Gon:** But master Yoda said...

**George Lucas: **Very well Liam, that's in the script, congratulations, but the problem is...

**Qui-Gon:** There is NO problem!!!

**George Lucas:** There sure is!!! It isn't your text! It's Ewan's text!

**Qui-Gon:** Hah! You can't fire me, there is no replacement for m-

**Obi-Wan:** There is!!! There is!!!! It's a guy from Holland, wait, I've got him on the phone.... Hello?

**Fred:** Hi!!!

**Obi-Wan:** Hello Fred, how are you?

**Fred:** Fine, thanks, but, what was it you called me?

**Obi-Wan: **Liam is just fired by George Lu.....

**Qui-Gon:** THAT'S NOT THUE!!!

**George Lucas:** Ah, shut up, will ya? 

(Liam gets a piece of tape over his mouth, to shut him up…)

**Obi-Wan:** Well, if I said, Liam is just fired...

**Qui-Gon:** Hpfgrpff....

**Obi-Wan:** And now we need a replacement, and I've heard from two girls from Holland you just look like Liam...

**Fred:** Of course I do! I'm good, you know! Were that Linda and Anne who told you that? They are just 

great! Well, if you know, I'm a teacher and....

**George Lucas:** Yeah yeah, we know! We have a very big file from you, from what you have done in your life. That's very much, you've worked in a factory, you have worked at a school...

**Fred:** I still do!!!

**George Lucas:** Alright, alright! I hope you can act, because you have to be Qui-Gon in Episode I. And I hope you're not as egoistic as Liam is...

**Fred:** Of course not! But I really can act very good, and I'm a good teacher too, and I can play football very good and I am fitnessing a lot, and did I tell you I am a good football player?

**George Lucas:** Great Ewan, that's the type of guy Liam is, let's get Liam back, we will have the same trouble as we have now with Liam...

**Fred:** But...... But...... -tuut- -tuut- -tuut- -tuut-

**Obi-Wan: **Hello??? Fred?? Are you still there???

**George Lucas:** No, of course he isn't! And besides: he is from the Dark Side, he's useless as Qui-Gon... And now let Liam go...

**Qui-Gon:** (released from his tape): Argh!!!! I'll pay it back to you two!!! Here take this!!! And this!!!

**Obi-Wan:** NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

**George Lucas:** Great! now we have to find a replacement for Ewan... 


	2. Wicked Star Wars Fic Part Two

Title: Wicked Star Wars fic part 2 

_Summary: _everybody argues with George Lucas… Luke takes Vader's side…

_Rating:_ G

_Disclaimer:_ none of this really belongs to me, it's all George Lucas' (except for the other persons mentioned, who do _all_ really exsist…)

Author: Anne Zwarts 

**Darth Vader:** What is thy bidding, my Master?

**Emperor Palpatine: **There is a great disturbance in the Force.

**Darth Vader:** I have felt it.

**Emperor Palpatine: **We have new enemy–Luke Skywalker.

**Darth Vader:** Yes, my Master.

**Emperor Palpatine: ** He could destroy us.

**Darth Vader:** He's just a boy. Obi-Wan can no longer help him.

**Emperor Palpatine: **The Force is strong with him. The son of Skywalker must not become a Jedi.

**Darth Vader:** If he could be turned, he would become a powerful ally.

**Emperor Palpatine: ** Yes. Yes. He would be a great asset. Can it be done?

**Darth Vader:** He will join us or die, Master.

**Luke Skywalker: **What??! Do I have to join the Dark Side if I don't want to be killed???! Are you crazy??!

**George Lucas:** Mark, please..... We haven't asked you for your opinion, so, please, shut up...

**Luke Skywalker: **But I AM Luke Skywalker...

**George Lucas: **So?

**Luke Skywalker: **So I have to know what in the name of the Force is going on here. If you want Luke to die or to walk over to the Dark Side, fine. But IF you want him to do that, I am not longer Luke! Goodbye.

**George Lucas: **O my God, Mark!!! Come back here! Please! We have no replacement for you!

**Darth Vader: **Come on, Mark, I don't want you to go to the Dark Side! I am from the Dark Side, and you have to believe me: you are not gonna like it here. I don't like it here, but, I am Darth Vader, so I have to be on the Dark Side.

**Luke Skywalker: **Alright, I believe you, but, I don't want to de either.

**Emperor Palpatine: **Well well, you BELIEVE what Darth Vader is saying??? You are not coming to the Dark Side??? You will come to the Dark Side... *waves hand*

**Luke Skywalker: **Hah! I'm a Toydorian, mind tricks don't work on me, only money!

**George Lucas: **Mark! That is Episode I, I haven't written it yet, so how do you know Watto is going to say that!!! 

**Luke Skywalker: ** Watto??? Who is that??!

**George Lucas:** Never mind, please go on with the story, time is money.....

**Darth Vader: **So, money is important huh? Well, in that case, that Watto-guy you were talking about, is the same guy as you are, isn't he? 

**George Lucas:** And now you have to shut up!!!! Because I am thinking of the idea to fire you. And because you have that stupid helmet on you head, and somebody else is talking for you, because you can't, nobody ever believes you when you tell them you are Vader!!! HAHAHA!!!

**Luke Skywalker: ** Please George, don't fire him! He's just a nice guy! And besides: He IS the person who ought to be the father of Luke. So, please George, don't fire him!

**George Lucas: **Well, I am here the person who decides who is going to be fired or not, so *to Darth Vader* You're fired!!!

**Darth Vader:** You can't fire me! Where do you find another person who is as tall as I am?

**George Lucas: **Alright, you can come back, but now go on with the film, because time is still money!!!

**Weird Flying Guy: **No no!!! Stop! Where are my scenes? Oh no! I am to late!!! This is Episode IV!!! Episode I is already an very old film at this time!!! Oh no!!!

**Luke Skywalker:** And who are you supposed to be??? What are you doing here? Mr Lucas! There's a weird flying guy flying in front of me, who says he is to late, or something like that...

**George Lucas:** Well well, what do we have here. If that isn't the nice Watto....... Watto, please listen to me: GET OUT OF HERE!!! YOU ARE TO EARLY!!! EPISODE I WILL NOT BE SHOT IN ABOUT 20 YEARS!!! Thank you...

**Emperor Palpatine: **What??! Is he that Watto-guy you were talking about??! That little flying guy??? Mr Lucas, you are crazy that you made such a dumb character for a film script. I thought you would think about something better......

**George Lucas: **Well, you are a Senator in the same movie...

**Watto:** Is he in Episode I a friend of that Qui-Gon Jinn-guy???

**Obi-Wan Kenobi:** Not really, and he is also not a friend of mine, but he deals with Qui-Gon and he is from the same planet as me...

**Luke Skywalker: **Really??!

**Yoda:** Please hurry up!!! In this movie I play too, hmm hmm. Today I play in this movie, but I have to be at home before 6 PM you know..... My wife is waiting for me with the dinner, hmm hmm!!!

**George Lucas:** Alright, Yoda has right, we have to go on, my wife is waiting too..................... Wait a minute, Yoda! You are not married!!!!

**Yoda:** So you are not...

**George Lucas:** Alright! Roll on!!! There's nobody waiting for you, nobody's married here!!!

**Luke Skywalker:** What about Princess Leia? She is my girlfriend...

**George Lucas:** Only in the film she is your girlfriend.... and you two are not married. Oh, please, will you all stop with that........ I am going to be crazy, and I have to write 5 other Episodes for Star Wars...

**John Williams: **And I have to compose the music for that films, without it I am almost out of work..... 

**George Lucas: **Well......... There is Schindler's List and the Patriot and Jaws...........


End file.
